In Blog

Past,Present..

To my fellow brother’s and sister’s, Mother’s and Father’s, son’s and daughter’s, let me say; first and foremost that i owe you my life, and to the Greatest of God, I owe you my soul should you choose to redeem me. My 32 birthday has come and gone and many things have took shape. This creative path of building life through words has been quite a journey. Full of ups and downs,while my emotions have been swimming through turbulent currents, never resting. many things have passed and i have been dealing with a variety of internal struggles. My past is ever prevalent. How do i escape it. How do i break free. And though i know i have accomplished much this past year, I feel a failure unworthy of anything that i have done. so a quick update: we lost the white house initiative video challenge even though we clearly won and had the most votes by far!! which i would like to thank all of you for taking the time to vote and share. Giving someone’s some of your time is the most precious things you can give in life..so sincerely, i am humbly in your gratitude. But how do i feel about losing to the same system over and over again. I am angry and sad and frustrated for a system that continues to throw away a person..a HUMAN BEING! like garbage thrown in the ash dirt roads. we were dropped and left to rot. one flight from tacoma washington to lax then thai airways to bangkok to Phnom Penh with no id, no passport and no money and placed in the hands of immigration authorities and say  here you go,  live.. survive..after 31 years in a country i only know to a county i have never literally stepped foot in.14 years i paid my debt to society and most importantly the debt i continue to pay for myself..and when home and family was so close i was ripped away and thrown to the gauntlet to be forgotten..Exiled to this Kingdom Of Wonder.but NO! i will not be silent! but in not being silent i have taken on a leadership role that was not sought. the weight bears heavy on me and i grow weary and tired. Tired of fighting, fearful and doubtful of every decision..learning and processing while trying to survive and trying to make a sustainable living of what i do. I am a spoken word artist and i love poetry..because poetry and spoken word saved my life.I know i was created to be a voice but voice for what? I am just crying out in hopes that someone out there that’s also lost can cry out and maybe just maybe we can find each other to really make a change..a difference..to be the beginning ripple of something courageous and honorable. these past weeks i have been living nomadic, lost, scared but determined,and hopeful,that with each new day there is still something that i have yet seen..or learn or create. i will tell you this..at one point in this journey i felt hopeless and many dangerous thoughts came to mind…but if it wasnt for people i know to people who have kindly responded to my body of work..thank you for reaching out and crying out along with me. My dear family, friends and friend , you know who you are.. truly you are Kings and Queens!! Thank you for being there when i needed someone to talk to. . thank you for throwing out your rafters when i was drowning in my own loneliness…and to those who have been there or is going through that same place now..you are not alone. fight rise and cry til tears are your weapons of love and forgiveness..Onelove, Kosal

Posted by: on Mar 28, 2012