Moments in Between the Nights

(July 19, 2011)

by Kosal Khiev

There are times in my life moments in btween the nights where i’ve laid bathe in my own grief
the streets are only memories
stories told with a glazy stare
knowing full well with a full heart that i should be there
not here
but thats neither here nor there
im aware in these moments
im alone
cold in a zone
a part of a world where tragedies happen everyday
i pray for peace
some type of solace but release is six years away
so its safe to say
til that day comes ill be a vacant body
a hollow tomb forced to witness mans doom
meanwhile
echoes of a life keeps bouncin off my eyeballs
so what is seen seems like a dream
but im way off
thats me as a teen
then the scene takes off
whats replace is a face who i can hardly wait to embrace
so much love
but then love slowly fades to hate
resentment lends a hand to our untimely break
so late is the hour when i reach back
and think back to what was ours
better yet
what was mine
but these are times in my life
moments in between the nights
where i must reflect on what was lost
and check in with my thoughts
i’ve checked in with my chips of sin and this is the life i had bought
my thoughts keeps going back
i cant help it
my thoughts keeps going black
i cant help it
i keep getting these attacks at night when my mind wanders back
flipping memories and i can still see that they’re still fresh and intact
my conscience weighs on my back
regrets and shame weighs on my name like chains
and im at this point in my life where im tired of these nights filled with empty silence
and these days filled with senseless violence
so blinding are my thoughts when they rage behind my eyelids
as they flutter
visions of my death within my iris and there i was
laying in the gutters
what was once a quick glimps of my demise remains shut to these eyes
now what is visualize is a life i must rise to
dreading the moment where i must open my eyes to
another day i must fight through
the same nightmares i close my eyes to
cuz these are times in our lives
moments in between the nights
where we must reflect on what was lost and check in with our thoughts
see ive checked in with my chips of sin and this is the life i had bought
sometimes
u wish u could die
when crying wouldn’t suffice but u take it with a sigh
and role to ur side
and that tear goes unnotice from the eyes who deems it a weakness to those who cant cry
so here it is
all ur whys and what ifs
what should have been
what should have happened
what ur life’s suppose to be if u never ran the streets
u was told to ease up on that gun clapping
but the money and fame was too enticing
life behind bars wasnt that frightening
so ur eyes was sighted on the fast life
the glitz and glamour
but then it all came crashing down like a hammer
correction
a gavel
a man in a black robe
16 years old
16 years
85%
2 strikes and off u go
another branded cattle
so here u are
trying to unravel the sequences in ur life
what came first
what came last
too much time has lapse
8 years to be exact
these are times in our lives
moments in between the nights
where we must reflect on what was lost and check in with our thoughts
see
ive checked in with my chips of sin
and this is the life that i bought

Posted by: on Dec 5, 2011